


Beware of the Plastics

by pricingham



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Scream (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/F, Gay Character, Homophobia, Implied Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Character, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, most of it is not that serious the above are just mentioned once in a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9772655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pricingham/pseuds/pricingham
Summary: Tatum Riley had spent all of her life in Namibia being home-schooled. She had never been to a public school, she had never known that you have to be careful about the shoes you wear on Mondays. Until, that is, she went to Woodsboro High and met the Plastics.





	1. Welcome To Hell A.K.A. Woodsboro High

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT im so sorry im making yall read this just trust me its kinda funny  
> i tried to add some Twists to it and bring new stuff to the table and stuff so it's not completely/100% mean girls there's some twists to it (and lots. and Lots. of heathers references im so sorry)  
> characters so yall dont get lost:  
> Tatum - Cady Heron  
> Billy - Janis Ian  
> Stu - Damian Leigh  
> Casey - Karen Smith  
> Hallie - Gretchen Weiners  
> Sidney - Regina George  
> Derek - Aaron Samuels  
> Randy Meeks - Kevin Gnapoor  
> Gale - Ms. Norbury  
> Himbry - Mr. Duvall  
> Mickey - Jason Mandarino  
> Cici - Taylor Wedell
> 
> the others are just kinda obvious ya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tatum Riley. She's your typical high schooler, if it wasn't, that is, for the fact she was raised in Africa until she turned sixteen. She's home-schooled and totally not a freak unlike others. Her mother is just a research zoologist, that's all. And her tenure with the Windsor College had just ran out, so they were forced to back to the great US of A.

Tatum hated it. It was her first day of school and so far she had not only been yelled at for waiting to go to the bathroom during class, no one had even talked to her.

 

Ms. Weathers class. _Please, be good_ , she thought to herself as she looked around. She introduced herself to the tallest girl. “I'm Tatum Riley, I just moved here from Africa.”

The girl made a face. “I don't care.”

Tatum’s face fell and she took a step backwards, hearing snickers. She moved to sit next to Mean Tall Girl.

“Nuh-uh, her boyfriend sits there,” she heard someone say. Tatum looked up to see a boy around her age with a smirk on his face. He looked like an outcast, messy hair with half of it falling in front of his face as bangs, a band t-shirt and terrible, _terrible_ dark circles. Another boy sat behind him: tall, feisty, short hair and a baggy sweater, with a grin that could last for days. And what seemed to be a necklace. (Finally, someone who knew how to accessorize.)

She moved to behind a fat boy, who seemed friendly enough to share his notes.

Emo Boy snorted a laugh as his friend laughed. “You don't wanna do that, he farts a lot.”

She walked backwards, looking around, though her eyes were always focused on either Emo or Tall Boy. She gasped when she felt herself hit something. Or someone, rather. “I'm sorry, God.”

Ms. Weathers sighed. “It's fine, it's fine.” It obviously wasn’t fine, she had spilled her coffee all over her shirt.

Mr. Himbry walked in, almost scaring Tatum out of her skin. “Okay, so we got a new student here in class. She just came all the way from Africa.”

Ms. Weathers looked over at a tall, dark skinned girl and Tatum frowned. “Welcome!”

“I'm from across the street,” the girl said.

The whole class laughed at the teacher's mistake. _Moron_.

“Her name’s Tatum… Riley.”

Tatum raised her hand. “That's me. Hi.”

“Welcome, Riley.”

“Tatum’s my first name, actually.” Her eyes moved to the couple of boys, who were both snickering, Tall Boy's chin on Emo Boy's shoulder.

 

Lunch was hard for her, she found absolutely no one who wanted her to sit next to them — not even those kids who seemed like villagers from the place she had stayed in so long. _Definitely_ not those.

So she sighed when she found herself eating the sandwich her mom had made her, as she sat on top of a toilet inside a lonely stall. How could the first day go so wrong?


	2. Plastics 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tatum is introduced to the "Greatest People She'll Ever Meet", local emo Billy Loomis and his over-hyped best friend Stu Macher. As well as the Plastics, but are they really that important? (Billy and Stu's answer would have been "no".)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma just update this all in one go ur WELCOME

She was one of the first students to arrive to Ms. Weathers’ class, just to get a good seat. Right next to Tall Boy.

“Is that your natural hair color?” he asked, leaning on his hand.

She shook her head. “I dye it.”

“That's cool,” Emo Boy said with a smirk.

“Thanks!”

“See, that's the color I want,” Tall Boy said.

“You're already blond, dumb ass.” He turned to Tatum. “This is Stu. He's almost too gay to function.”

“Rude.”

“See?”

“Nice wig, Loomis, what's it made of?,” a sporty boy asked, smirking.

“Your mom's pubic hair!,” he snapped before rolling his eyes and turning to Tatum again. “I'm Billy.”

“Hi, I'm Tatum.”

“Nice to meet you,” Stu said, grinning.

“Aw, you too!”

Billy eyed her schedule. “So, what do you have next?”

“Health. It's in room G5.”

“Isn't that in the back building?,” Billy asked Stu.

Stu frowned before widening his eyes and turning to Tatum. “Yeah, that's in the back building.”

“We'll take you there, no worries,” Billy offered.

 

Tatum frowned as Billy and Stu sat down on the grass.

“Hum, where's the back building?”

Stu smiled. “Right here.”

“It got turned down in 1996. I heard the janitor killed himself in there.”

“ _Lies_. It was totally a murder-suicide.”

“Yikes,” Tatum said softly. “Won't we… get in trouble?”

“We're your friends,” Billy said. “Why would we get you in trouble?”

Tatum bit her lip before sitting down next to them.

“Holy shit, dude, she takes _calculus_.”

“Fuck.” Billy looked at her. “Why would you do that? Are you some kind of masochist?”

Tatum blushed. “God, no. I just like math.”

Billy made a face. “How do you spell your name, Tate?”

“It’s Tatum.” She spelled it like asked.

“Yeah, I'm gonna call you Tate.”

“In the name of all that is holy, are you seeing Casey Becker's gym clothes?”

“Jesus, shit.”

Tatum looked over at who Stu was looking at. Blond, short hair, wearing a bandana for a shirt and the shortest shorts known to man.

“Is that a bandage or a t-shirt?”

“I dunno, Tate. But of course all the Plastics are in the same gym class.”

“Plastics?”

“They're teen royalty,” Billy explained. “If Woodsboro High was a teen magazine, they'd always be on the cover.”

“That's Casey Becker,” Stu said with a sigh.

Tatum noticed Billy frown and clench his jaw. “She's one of the _dumbest_ girls you'll ever meet. Stu sat by her in English class last year.”

Stu laughed. “Yeah, she asked me how to spell bed.”

Tatum snickered. “What about the short haired one?”

“Hallie McDaniel. She's rich as shit 'cause her dad invented Toaster Strudel,” Stu said.

“Hallie knows everything about everyone.”

“That's why her hair's so _poof_ ,” Stu commented. “It's full of secrets.”

Tatum smiled. She'd never say so in front of them but Hallie was _really_ pretty. Though the girl who arrived next, carried by three boys, was even prettier.

“And evil takes a human form in _Sidney Prescott_.” Stu said her name with poison.

“Don't be fooled, Tate,” Billy started. “She may seem like she's your typical bad-mouthing, backstabbing, selfish little slut. But in reality… She's _so much more_ than that.”

“She's the queen bee. The leader of the Plastics. Those two are just her pathetic little workers,” Stu said, making a face.

“Why do you hate them?”

Billy looked up from his notebook. “What?”

“Why do you hate them? You seem to _really_ hate them. Did they do something?”

“Sidney once—”

“They're _Plastics_ ,” Billy said, speaking over Stu. “There's not a thing they do that doesn't fuel me with hate.”

“Everything fuels you with hate, babe.”

Tatum chuckled. “Are you two dating?”

“What? No.”

“Absolutely,” Stu said, nodding.

“Stu!” Billy hit him in the arm.

Tatum laughed.

Billy ripped a page out of his notebook and handed it to Tatum. “Here you go, Tate.”

“‘Tate’s Guide to Woodsboro H.S.’,” she read out loud. “Aw, that's sweet. Thanks, Billy.”

“No prob’.”

They walked her to the cafeteria, Stu going on about how important Spring Fling was. “And whoever is crowned King and Queen of Spring Fling becomes automatically the head of the Student Activities Committee.”

“Oh.”

“Wow,” Billy said. “You've truly out-gayed yourself, Stu.”

“Thanks!”

Billy rolled his eyes with a smirk.

“That sounds cool, I might go.”

“Don't go, God. Spring Fling’s for losers, Tate.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Stu said, sarcasm obvious in his voice.

“Well, you _are_ a loser, Stu.”

“Rude.”

Tatum laughed. “You guys are fun.”

“Thanks.”

“She's so sweet, man.”

“Thank you, Stu.”

“Alright we're gonna sit at our table, go get your lunch and then sit there, yeah?”

“Which one is it?”

Billy pointed to the small drawn square that said “The Greatest People You'll Ever Meet”. “Right there.”

Tatum smiled. “Thanks. See you, guys.”

“Bye.”

 

Tatum looked around for Billy and Stu's table, being interrupted by a boy. “Hi, I'm doing a lunchtime poll of sorts. Has your muffin been buttered?”

Tatum smiled and frowned, confused. “Sorry?”

“Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”

“My what?”

“Is he bothering you?”

Tatum looked down and there she was. Sidney. Tatum hoped she wasn't as evil as she was pretty, because _God_ , was she pretty. “I'm okay.”

“Mickey, why are you such a freak?”

“I’m just being friendly.”

“You were supposed to _call_ me, last night,” Hallie said through gritted teeth.

“Got busy.”

“Listen, you do not go out with Hallie to my party and promise to call her, and then go hit on this innocent girl in front of her face. She's not interested.” She turned to Tatum with such gracefulness, Tatum was sure she had stopped breathing. “Do you want to have sex with him?”

Tatum’s eyes widened. “No, thank you.”

“Then it's settled. So you can go jack off to Tarantino movies now. Bye, Mickey.”

Tatum half smiled when Mickey left, and started walking up to Billy and Stu's table.

“Where are you going? Sit down.”

Billy motioned for her to keep walking as Stu waved. Tatum eyed Sidney. “It's okay, really.”

“Sit down,” and she no longer sounded like she was giving an offer but rather an order.

“Okay.” She put down her tray and sat in front of Sidney.

“So, why don't I know you?”

She eyed Billy and Stu, who were both in shock. “Hum, I'm new. I came from Africa.”

“Africa? What?”

“I, huh, I'm home-schooled.”

“What?”

“I'm home-schooled. Like, my mom—”

“No, I know what home-schooled means, I'm not an idiot.”

“Oh.”

“So, you've never been to an actual school before? Shut up!”

“I didn't say anything.”

“Home-schooled. Interesting.”

“Thanks…?”

“It’s just, like… You’re really pretty.”

Tatum smiled, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Christ, was she actually crushing on queen bee? “Thank you.”

“So you agree.”

“What?”

“You think you’re really pretty.”

“Oh, I don’t… know.”

Sidney gasped. “Oh, my God. I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?”

“Aw, thanks. My mom made it for me.”

“It’s adorable,” she said.

“It is so _fetch_ ,” Hallie commented, smiling.

Sidney’s smile dropped and she turned to Hallie. “What is fetch?”

“Oh, it’s slang… from, like, England.”

“Ugh,” Sidney groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Wait…” Casey squinted. “If you’re from Africa… Why are you white?”

Hallie sighed deeply. “Oh, my God, Casey. You can’t just ask people why they’re white.”

Tatum breathed out a laugh.

“Can you give us some privacy for, like, two seconds?,” Sidney asked her.

Tatum nodded and looked over at Billy and Stu when the Plastics turned around and began whispering.

“What are you doing?!,” Billy mouthed almost aggressively.

Tatum shrugged, slightly panicked.

“Okay,” Hallie started. “So, just you know, we don’t do this a lot. But we want you to have lunch with us every day, this week.”

Tatum stammered, laughing nervously. “It’s fine, really.”

“No, we insist,” Sidney said, smiling. Tatum was sold.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Coolness,” Sidney said, getting up. Both Hallie and Casey followed. “So, see you tomorrow,” she said, blowing her two kisses.

Casey’s face lit up. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

 

“Holy shit!” Billy grinned. “You have to do it.”

“What?”

“You have to! Then you could come back and tell us all the mean shit Sidney said.”

Tatum bites at her lip, playing around with the hem of her shirt. “I don’t know, Billy.”

“What?”

She shrugged. The girls bathroom didn’t really seem like the best place to have a conversation like that, especially with _two boys_.

Stu walked out of a stall and some cheerleader complained about seeing him there, “Go away, you freak!”

“Oh, my God, Heather MacNamara! I love your character!”

The cheerleader squeaked and ran away.

Stu stuck his tongue out at her and walked up to Tatum and Billy. “‘Sup?”

“I think Sidney seems sweet.”

“ _What_ ?! Sidney Prescott is _not_ sweet! She’s a fucking little backstabbing whore just like her slut mom!,” Billy snapped.

“Breathe, babe.”

Billy took a few deep breaths. He sighed.

“Why do you hate her?”

“God, Tate, we just had this convo.”

“Yeah but you said all Plastics. You only seem to really hate Sidney.”

“She ruined my life!”

“She’s fabulous but she’s pure evil.”

“Thank you, Stu!”

“What even _happened_ between you and Sidney?”

“She started this rumor that Billy was a—”

“Stu!” Billy looked pissed. “Shall we not?!” He took in a breath and looked over at Tatum. “Okay, so listen, this isn’t about hating Sidney, alright? This is… An experiment. You’re into science, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s just like biology class, girl,” Stu said, putting a hand to her shoulder. “Just don’t let yourself become the frog.”

“What?”

Billy sighed. “Look, Tate. It’d be fun if you were to hang out with them and shit, and then tell us all the terrible things they say. Which are a _lot_.”

“Billy, I don’t even know what we talk about.”

“Hair products,” Billy suggested with a shrug.

“Skeet Ulrich,” Stu said, definitely convinced.

“Is that a band?”

“He means _Lars_ Ulrich. Skeet’s just some B-grade horror movie actor.”

“He’s cute, though.”

“ _Anyway_! Please, do it.”

“Okay. Okay… Do you any of you own anything pink?”

Billy made a face. “No.”

“Yes,” Stu replied as immediately.


	3. Social Suicide (Don't Do It!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "On Wednesdays, we wear pink!" and "you can only wear a ponytail once a week" are two of the many, many rules Tatum was about to learn. Including that joining the Mathletes was social suicide. Hey, if both the Plastics and one of the outcasts says so, it has to be true. Oh, and there's a Burn Book involved too. Though not many burns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for the use of the f slur like once its not censored either (i can reclaim it b4 anyone decides to murder my ass,)

Tatum leaned on her hand, eating her cheese fries slowly as she listened to Hallie ramble about “The Rules”. “We only wear jeans or track pants on Friday,” she said, as if this was one of the Tenth Commandments. “And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So, I guess you picked today… Oh! And you can't use a tank top two days in a row.” Hallie ate some of her salad before talking again. “If you break  _ any  _ of these rules, you can't sit with us. And I mean, like, not just you. Like, any of us. Okay, so, if I was wearing, like, jeans today? I'd be sitting there with the drama freaks,” she said, pointing at Billy and Stu. Tatum looked over and held back a laugh. Stu was trying to put as many fries in his mouth as he managed as Billy snorted. “Pathetic, I know… Also,” she said, remembering something. “We always vote before asking someone to sit with us at lunch 'cause you gotta be considerate to the rest of the group. I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt if you didn't ask your friends first if it looks good on you.”

“I wouldn't?,” Tatum asked, puzzled.

“Right. Same goes for guys. You might think you like someone, but you could be wrong.”

“So, have you seen any guys you think are cute yet?,” Casey asked.

Tatum panicked slightly. She wasn't a boys girl. She had had a boyfriend in Africa but she had hated it. Maybe she just wasn't into anyone.

“So?,” Hallie insisted, just as interested.

Tatum shrugged. “I guess there's this guy in my calculus class,” she said carefully. She was talking about some boy who sat in front of her, he seemed sweet enough.

“Is he a senior?”

“I think his name is Derek Feldman,” she guessed.

“Oh, no,” Casey said.

“No, no, no. You can't like Derek!”

“He's Sidney's ex-boyfriend,” Casey explained.

“Exactly. They went out for a  _ year _ .”

“Yeah.”

Hallie kept going, “Then she was devastated when he broke up with her last summer.”

Casey frowned and pouted. “I thought she dumped him for Steve Orth.”

“ _ Irregardless. _ Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends, that's, like, the rules of feminism.”

“Exactly.”

Tatum was absolutely lost.

“But don't worry,” Hallie said, smiling. “We won't tell Sidney. It'll be our little secret.”

“Promise,” Casey said.

 

Calculus was terrible now that she had lied about crushing on Derek ‘I broke up with Sidney but you still can't have her’ Feldman. He wasn't even that cute, Tatum thought as she found herself staring at him.

“Ms. Riley.”

He was just such an… “Asshole.”

“Sorry?”

Tatum blinked and looked from the board to her notebook. “I meant, uh, negative pi over six. Or 11 pi over six.”

“That's right, very good.”

Tatum smiled a bit smugly to be quite honest. Which was low-key, once she actually wanted to jump on her table and yell at Derek about how much smarter she was than him and that  _ she _ should be the one Sidney dated.

A boy around her age with hair that was anything but normal approached her by the end of class. She tried not to stare too much at his nose. “I'm Randy Meeks, captain of the Woodsboro Mathletes. You should join us. We go out and have math competitions against other schools and shit. We'll get a lot of funding if a girl agrees to join in.”

Tatum stammered. “Yeah, I'll think about it.”

“Here's my card, Homeschool.”

“It's Tatum,” she said, watching him walk away. She looked down to read the white business card Randy had handed her. ‘Randy Meeks - Math Enthusiast / Local Horror Movie Buff’.

 

Tatum was walking home when she got jump scared by a car's honk. “Get in, loser,” she heard Sidney say. “We're going shopping.”

Tatum had no idea what kind of music they were listening to, except that it was catchy.

“Hey, can you guess what band this is?,” Hallie asked her from the backseat.

“Hum, Lars Ulrich?,” she guessed, remembering what Stu mentioned in the bathroom.

The three girls laughed. “God, no. We're not art freaks.”

“Oh.”

She kept quiet during the rest of the ride, except for laughing along to most of the jokes.

The mall was  _ huge _ and Tatum had almost gasped.

“So,” Sidney started, locking her arm with Tatum’s. “How do you like Woodsboro?”

“It's good,” she said, her brain too close to mush for her to be able to say something better. “I'm, huh, thinking of joining the Mathletes.”

“No, no, no,” Casey protested.

“You can't join the Mathletes!,” Hallie said.

“That's social suicide,” Sidney added. “Don't do it.”

“I won't,” she said.

“Damn, you are  _ so _ lucky to have us to guide you,” Hallie said, grinning proudly.

Tatum saw Billy at work in the corner of her eye and waved. Billy replied with two thumbs up.

“Oh, no, there's Mickey.”

“And he's with Cici Cooper.”

“Oh, no, he cannot blow you off like that,” Sidney said, with a breathy laugh. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?,” Hallie asked, already doing as told. “Don't call him!”

“Do you think I'm an idiot?,” she scoffed, before dialing Cici’s mother's number.

« _ Hello? _ »

“Hello. May I please speak to Cici Cooper?”

« _ She's not home. Who is this? _ »

“Oh, this is Ellen from Planned Parenthood. Tell her the test results came in. It's urgent.” Sidney smiled smugly as she flipped the phone close and handed it to Hallie. “She won't be seeing anyone else for a while,” she announced.

“That was  _ so _ fetch!”

Tatum raised her eyebrows in surprise. Who knew Sidney could be that ruthless?

Her house was  _ huge _ . Of course Tatum just used that word, in that exact same tone, to describe the mall, but to be quite honest, Sidney's house wasn't far from being as big.

“You have a really nice house,” Tatum said as she looked around.

“I know, right?”

“Make sure you check out her mom's boob job,” Hallie whispered to her. “They're hard as rocks.”

Tatum frowned, wide eyed.

“I'm home! Hi, Roman.”

“Fuck you!,” the older boy replied.

“Ugh.” Sidney rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. “Mom.”

“Hi, girls!”

“Hey, Mrs. Prescott. This is Tatum.”

“Well, hi! Welcome to our home,” she greeted, walking up to Tatum. “Do whatever you want. There are no rules in this house, alright? I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.”

Tatum hold back laughter at how ridiculous Sidney's mom was and walked away with Sidney and the other girls.

“This is your room?,” Tatum asked, shocked by its size. It was nearly as big as hers and Dewey's combined.

“It was my parents’ but I got them to trade,” she replied with a shrug.

Casey sat down and began picking nail polishes as Sidney got some makeup and Hallie looked around. “Yo, remember this?,” she asked, picking up a pink book.

“I haven't seen that in years,” Sidney said.

“What's that?,” Tatum asked, walking up to Hallie.

“It's the Burn Book.”

“The what?”

“We take pics from people in our class and then write comments on them. Constructive criticism, to be fair,” Hallie explained.

Casey got up and walked up to them, nail polish in hand.

“Maureen Evans is a pesky little byotch,” Hallie read from the page, snickering.

“Still true,” Sidney said, joining them.

“Olivia Morris is a fat virgin.”

“Still half true,” she joked.

“Billy Loomis, fag.”

“Hey, who's that?,” Casey asked, pointing at the person next to Billy.

“Stu Macher,” Sidney snorted.

“He's almost too gay to function,” Tatum said, without thinking.

“Holy shit, that's hilarious. Write that down,” Sidney said, handing them an eyeliner pencil.

Shit. Maybe that was only okay when Billy said it. Oh, Christ. “Can you drop me at the mall? I think I forgot something there.”

Sidney shrugged. “Sure.”

 

Tatum waved goodbye and walked up to Billy's workplace, some kind of Body Shop. “Hi, Billy.”

“'Sup,” he greeted, handing a customer his change. “Have a good day.”

“Buddy, does this help with acne?”

“No.”

“You didn't even  _ look _ . Oh, hi, Tatum.”

“Hey. Okay, so I did what you told me and found out they have this book, they call it the Burn Book, and they write mean shit on it about the girls on our grade.”

Billy frowned. “Am I in it?”

“Am  _ I _ ?,” Stu asked, visibly concerned.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Those bitches,” Billy said. “You gotta steal that book, Tate. Then everyone could see what heartless bitches they are.”

“I don't steal,” she said.

“Look, Tate, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff and people who watch and don't do anything.”

“Does that mean I can burn that woman's outfit?,” Stu asked, pointing at a woman who seemed pretty lost, looking around the store.

“Fuck, that's Ms. Weathers. God, I  _ love  _ seeing teachers outside the school, it's like seeing a dog walk in its hind legs.”

“Oh, hi, guys,” she greeted, walking up to them. “What's up? I didn't know you worked here.”

“Hey.”

“Yeah, body creams are my calling.”

“You shopping?,” Stu asked, leaning on the counter, resting his chin on his hand.

“No, I'm here with my boyfriend,” she said, pointing at the mall cop. Tatum frowned, pretty sure that was her brother. “I'm joking. Sometimes old people make jokes too.”

“My mom talks shit about people when she's drunk,” Stu said, looking over at the foot cream in his hand. “What does this do?”

“Makes your feet smell like minty salad,” Billy said. “Just put it back, Stu.”

“ _ Fine _ .”

“So, about the Mathletes? I'd love to have a girl on the team, just so, you know, the team could meet a girl. Other than me.”

Billy snorted.

“Yeah, I'm thinking of joining.”

“What?!,” Stu said, in shock. “You can't join the Mathletes! That's social suicide!”

“Thank you, Stu… Do you have any edible massage oil?”

Billy frowned. “I guess I could check…?”

“I'm messing with you, Billy. You know… jokes.”

He chuckled forcibly. “Yeah…”

“Alright, this has been awkward enough. See you guys in class tomorrow,” she said before walking away.

“That was amazing,” Stu said, leaning on the counter again.

Billy snorted. “So, when are you gonna be with Sidney again?”

“I don't wanna do it anymore.”

“Why not? She'll never know.”

“I just can't,” she said, avoiding admitting the worst.

“It'll be our little secret,” Billy said, trying to convince her.

She sighed. “Fine.”


	4. He Took Her Back, Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney "horror movies are terrible" Prescott invites Tatum to her Halloween party. She, Billy and Stu later decide it's time for a change in Woodsboro High. An explosive one at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this! is filled! with! heathers references! and some carrie ones too

Tatum almost jumped when Sidney approached her in the middle of the hall, next to her locker. “I'm having a Halloween party next week,” she told her and Tatum felt herself blush. “Make sure you're there, byotch.”

“I will, yeah,” she said, smiling. Billy and Stu walked up to her after Sidney left. “Guys, I need help to get a costume.”

“What? Why?,” Billy asked.

“Sidney invited me to her party!”

“Holy shit,” Stu said, gasping. “Okay, something you gotta know about Halloween with girls is that you gotta dress the sluttiest possible.”

“Dress up as Sidney’s mom, that'll do,” Billy said, smirking.

“Billy, I'm serious.”

“Go as Carrie White before the blood. My mom made me the dress once.”

“Why did she make you a dress?”

Billy shrugged. “I liked Carrie's prom dress.”

“Did you just call Carrie a slut?”

“No! She's not a slut, she's too pure.”

Tatum smiled. “I'm shorter than you, though.”

“I was, like, your height when she made it, don't worry.”

Tatum grinned. “What if I come over tonight and you show me the dress?”

Billy scoffed. “Not gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“My dad's home, he'll flip.”

“Your dad is an asshole. God, I hate him.”

“Me too.”

“I know!,” Stu said. “You can get the dress and we'll try it at my house! My parents are out so...!”

Billy smirked. “Sounds good, dork. Tate?”

“Yeah!”

 

Tatum picked up the dress. “God, it looks just like hers.”

“Yeah. My mom's super talented,” Billy said.

“Shoo, out of here you two. I gotta play dress up.” Stu grinned and put an arm around Billy before both walked out.

Tatum took her clothes off and tried on the dress. She took her hair off the ponytail and brushed it with her fingers. Perfect. She opened the door and said, “They all laughed at me, mama.”

“Dude!”

Billy's eyes widened. “God, you look just like her!”

“You should come by when the party is over to watch some horror flicks,” Stu suggested. “Billy and me always do this marathon of all the classics.”

“And every year we watch a new movie in the beginning. It's cool.”

“Sweet, I'll try and get here then,” Tatum said, smiling.

 

Sidney picked her up from her place, and Tatum laughed nervously at seeing her costume, which was lingerie and two animal ears. “What are you?”

“I'm Carrie White,” Tatum said, buckling up. “From that horror movie, Carrie.”

“I don't watch horror movies,” she said with a nauseous look on her face. “They're so ridiculous.” She drove off. “Like, it's always about some dude going after a big-breasted girl who's running upstairs when she should be running outta front door.”

“Some aren't like that,” Tatum defended. “For example, Carrie is about this bullied girl who gets revenge on her bullies. She ends up burning down the gym.”

“What a psycho,” Sidney said, turning on the radio. “Can you see my bra?”

Tatum stammered, looking down. “No.”

“Okay, thanks. I'm using those invisible straps and, God. I never know if you can notice them or not.”

“You can't,” she said, shaking her hand.

“Thank you! You’re such a good friend,” Sidney said, smiling.

Sidney’s house was crowded and Tatum found herself following Sidney around until they found Casey and Hallie hanging out by the punch bowl. “Hi, guys,” she greeted, waving.

Casey jumped. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“It’s Halloween. I’m Carrie.”

Casey frowned at her before shrugging and drinking some of her punch.

“Have you seen Mickey?,” Hallie asked, crossing her arms.

Tatum shook her head. “Nuh-uh.”

Hallie pouted and adjusted her animal ears. Tatum thought she was a cat.

“I’m gonna look for him,” Sidney said before walking away.

“You know who’s looking fine tonight?”

Both Hallie and Tatum turned to Casey. “Who?”

“Steve Orth,” she said, eyeing him up and down.

Hallie sighed and put her hand to her face. “Christ, Casey. That’s Sidney ex-boyfriend. We _ just _ had this talk with Tatum.”

Tatum frowned at Hallie’s use of ‘just had’. Two months aren’t two minutes, Hallie, she thought. “Rules of feminism,” Tatum said.

“Exactly.”

“But he’s  _ so _ hot. And he’s on the football team,” she said, smiling proudly. “And he’s a really good kisser.”

“Casey!”

“Hey, Steve!”

Tatum covered her mouth and snickered. She felt someone put her arm around her and jumped. “Can’t find him,” Sidney said, shrugging. “It’s for the best, Hallie, you gotta let him go.”

Hallie shrugged, then her eyes widened. “Derek is here.”

“ _ What _ ?”

Tatum felt her blood boil and turned around to where Hallie was looking at. That dick! “Ugh. What an asshole.”

“I’m gonna talk t’ him,” Sidney said after pondering about it. Tatum tried not to look too upset about it.

“You're totally crushing on him,” Hallie said, resting her elbow on Tatum's shoulder.

“I guess.”

“You okay? Wait, are you jealous?”

“What? No!,” she protested, turning to Hallie, who was smirking.

“You so are.”

Tatum rolled her eyes and turned to Sidney. That  _ asshole _ ! He was kissing her, and she was kissing  _ him _ and Tatum was starting to feel dizzy. “I gotta go, I think I'm gonna be sick.”

“Wait, I'll take you home,” Hallie said, although Tatum was already walking out the house.

She called Billy as she sobbed. “Can you and Stu come pick me up?”

« _ Did something happen? _ »

“Please, Billy.”

« _ Yeah, sure, Tate. _ »

Her ride didn't take long to arrive. “You look terrible, what happened?,” Stu asked as Billy opened the back door for her.

Tatum sat down. “He took her back,” she sobbed. “Derek took Sid back.”

“Oh, Tate.”

She drowned her face in her hands and sobbed. “I didn't want to, I didn't mean to.”

“Take off, Stu.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and got to the backseat. “Did something happen?”

“I have a crush on fucking Sidney Prescott!”

Stu stopped the car suddenly and Billy was sent practically flying to the back of his seat. “What?!”

“I don't know,” she stammered. “She's just… She's so pretty and sweet—”

“Sidney Prescott is  _ not _ sweet! She's luring you in, Tate! The moment she realizes you're into her? You are  _ done _ ! Ever seen Heathers?”

“I'm taking off,” Stu announced.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, you'll become the Veronica Sawyer to her Heather Chandler.”

“Shit.”

“I say we kill her,” Stu commented. “I have a hunting knife, I'll get some plastic bags to get rid of the body—”

“The only murder we'll commit is hers  _ socially _ , you psychopath,” Billy said.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that works too.”

“I want to get rid of Derek,” Tatum said, and there was something poisonous about it.

“You jealous bitch.”

“Yeah.”

 

Billy scribbled on the whiteboard as Stu and Tatum watched. Stu's attic was dark and so Tatum had to hold a flashlight to actually see well.

“Alright,” Billy said, picking up a plastic machete — some Friday the 13th merch. “Sidney Prescott is a slimey little bitch—”

“Billy,” Tatum called out.

He rolled his eyes. “Sidney Prescott is a slimey little bitch, except in Tatum’s eyes because love is blind.”

Stu laughed and Billy smiled.

“Anyway, we gotta overthrow her and  _ end _ cliques… I say we blow up the school.”

“I thought were just killing them socially, JD,” Stu joked.

“Shut up.”

“So, what's your real plan?”

“We take down everything she loves. If her clique falls, they all do.” He pointed the tip of the machete to  _ Older Boyfriend _ . “We gotta finish Derek Feldman. Without him, you're free. And so is he,” he mumbled. He moved the plastic weapon down.  _ Skanked Out Clothes _ . “We gotta end her technically ‘hot’ body and whore clothes.” He pointed at the last line. “And her army of bimbo sluts—”

“Dude.”

“Sorry, got carried away.” Billy cleared his throat. “And her army of loyal ignorant followers.”  _ Band of Whores _ . “I say we start with Mr. Derek ‘I took Sidney back’ Feldman.”

“That's gonna be hard.”

Billy let out a breath. “You're right. He's too  _ perfect _ .”

“There's gotta be a flaw,” Tatum said.

“He's got everything, Tate… Okay. I know, just hang out with them and pretend nothing happened.”

Tatum nodded. “I can do that.”

“Let's rock this bitch.”

“Billy.”

“Let's rock this girl,” he corrected himself.


	5. Lemme Tell You Something About Billy Loomis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tatum finally finds out about Billy and Sidney's past and why he's so, so bitter towards her. Featuring: Stu Macher handing himself candy canes in a Santa Claus costume! And the word crack.

Tatum had almost dropped her tray when she saw Sidney and Derek, happily together, at the table. The  _ dickhead _ !

“Oh, hi, Tate,” Sid greeted, smiling.

“Hey,” she said, trying hard to not sound jealous. Not that she was jealous, anyway. Course she wasn't jealous.

“I'm Derek, I don't think we've met,” he introduced himself with a charming smile. Disgusting.

“Tatum,” she said bluntly, ignoring Derek's stretched hand.

“You're so cold today,” Sidney commented.

“Are you on your period?,” Casey asked, squinting.

“What?  _ No _ .” She fought the urge to sit by Billy and Stu. She had to endure this, she had to pull it off. She had to make Sidney see cliques were bad and make her see she didn't need Derek.

She thought about it as Sidney inspected her face in the bathroom mirror. “So gross; this all carbs dirt is making me break out.”

Tatum’s eyes widened. “Hum, I got this really good cream at my place. I can bring you some tomorrow,” she offered.

Sidney smiled, seemingly touched. “Thank you, Tate.”

“Oh it's nothing.”

Tatum handed her the cream the next day at school — the twist was that Billy had replaced it with foot cream. Not too bad for amateurs, if you had asked her.

The following month was dedicated entirely to destroying Sidney's throne. (“I'm just saying it’d be easier if we just killed her.” “Agree.” “Guys, I can't date a corpse.”) All of their plans had failed miserably. Cutting holes into her shirt only turned it into a trend; switching her shampoo with Tatum's old hair bleach made her hair turn a lighter shade of brown which she definitely pulled off; even the foot cream sabotage had managed to look good on her.

“This is such bullshit,” Billy complained. He, Stu and Tatum were now standing near the candy cane table, eating some snacks. “It's been a month and all we've done was make Sidney's face smell like a foot and give her a good dye.”

“I've been busy with Student Activities Committee,” Stu sighed.

“We gotta crack Hallie McDaniel. We crack Hallie and we crack the lock on Sidney's dirty, dirty history.”

“Say ‘crack’ again,” Stu asked.

“Crack. Okay, we gotta regroup tonight, my dad's outta town—”

“I can't.”

“What, why?”

“I gotta go to Sidney's, to train the dance for the talent show. We're doing this song, Jingle Bell Rock. Do you guys know it?”

Billy snorted. “Everyone in the English speaking world knows that song.”

“They do it every year.”

“Well, I gotta learn it.  _ And _ their choreography.”

Billy sighed. “Well, good luck, Tate.”

“Shit, that's her, go, go.”

Billy grabbed Stu's arm and walked away quickly.

“Ew, why were you talking to Billy Loomis?”

“I don't know, I mean, Billy is  _ so _ weird. He just came up to me with his lap dog and started talking to me about crack.”

Sidney scoffed. “Lap dog, that's a good one. Anyway, he is so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Billy Loomis.” She cleared her throat. “So, we met in sixth grade and were, like, instant friends. I know, right? It's so embarrassing… Whatever. So, anyway, one day he comes up to me and goes 'oh, Sid, I'm actually a boy’—”

“What?”

“He was born a girl or whatever. Moving on, he just starts wearing a ponytail  _ every day _ . It was so ridiculous. Then his mom like left him alone with his dad — y'know, the lawyer — who's, like, super violent and a major asshole. Anyway, he stops hanging out with me and says he likes Stu better. I  _ know _ !” She rolled her eyes and proceeded with the backstory, “So, like, I call him a pansy-ass, because c’mon, and he  _ flips _ . Starts going off about how much of a slut my mom is and how it’s her fault  _ his _ mom left him. It was, like,  _ so _ ridiculous, because, listen, all this shit happened in the middle of the  _ cafeteria _ . Ugh. So, then in the fall when we started high school, his hair was all cut off and he looked like a total  _ emo _ . Started hanging out with Stu and, like, completely ignoring me? Now I guess he’s on crack.”

Tatum took a deep breath, taking in all Sidney had told her. “Shit.”

“I know.”

“So, hum, you sending any candy canes?”

Sidney smirked. “I don’t send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch,” she said, smirking, before blowing her a kiss and walking away.

Tatum squinted in thought, smiling smugly after. Oh, she was gonna send her a candy cane alright. She was gonna use three candy canes to crack Hallie McDaniel.

 

She watched Mrs. Tate as she explained a sentence in  _ Julius Caesar _ by Shakespeare. “‘Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus’ might translate into… Why is he so huge and obnoxious?”

Stu, in a terrible, cheap Santa Claus costume and beard, with a bag draped over his shoulder, opened the door as if on cue. “Candy cane-grams!,” he announced.

Mrs. Tate sighed. “Hurry up.”

“Alright.” He took two candy canes from his bag. “Phil Stevens? Two for you.” He threw the candy canes over to a tall boy in the back. “Kirby Reed? One for you.” He handed it to a short-haired girl next to him. “You only need one to find love,” he said with a pat on her back. “Stu Macher? Four for you, Stu Macher,” he said, putting four candy canes in the back pocket of his jeans. “You go, Stu Macher. Tate Riley? Do we have a Tate Riley here?”

“It’s Tatum,” she corrected, smiling.

“One for you,” he handed her one and quickly added “And none for Hallie McDaniel, bye.” before walking out.

“Hey, who’s that from?”

Tatum smiled as she read the forged note out loud. “‘Thank you for being such a good friend. Love, Sid’. That’s so sweet!”

Hallie frowned before snatching the candy cane from Tatum’s hands. “Ugh!” Tatum tried not to smile. Her plan was going perfectly.


	6. Hallie McDaniel Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Talent Show is here and it's in your face! Or ears rather, especially with Billy's original "song" and Randy Meek's rap. Yes, he did write that. No, no one looked over it before allowing him to rap it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> billys a total drama kid lbr no one falls down the stairs like That and fake dies like That unless they've been in drama class js  
> also theres super subtle (more subtle than stu LMAO anyway) implied child abuse all he does is freeze a bit but jic

Hallie and Casey were already putting on lipgloss as Tatum arrived with her costume on. “Hey, girls. Where’s Sid?”

“Making out with Derek, probably,” Casey said, putting away her lipgloss and picking up some mascara.

“Oh.”

A high pitched noise came from the other side of the curtain. “Welcome to Woodsboro High School Winter Talent Show. Let me hear you make some noise!,” Tatum heard Himbry say before the audience began applauding loudly. “Alright, alright, settle down… Our first act is gonna reenact a scene from the movie, hum, Silence Of The Lamps—”

“Silence Of The  _ Lambs _ !,” someone corrected. That was definitely Billy.

“Anyway, let’s hear it for Stu.”

“Play the ominous music,” Tatum heard him say. She smiled softly and began putting on red lipstick in front of the mirror.

“I mean,” Hallie started. “Why would she send you two candy canes but not me?”

Casey shrugged as she brushed her hair with her fingers. “Maybe she forgot.”

Hallie scoffed, offended, and Tatum had to bite her cheek to avoid grinning. “Yeah, she’s been weird lately. Is there anything bothering her?”

“I mean, her parents totally don’t sleep in the same bed anymore,” Hallie commented with a smirk, searching for her eyeliner pencil. She stopped suddenly, as if she realized she had said too much. “I didn’t say anything.”

“All the way to the F.B.I.,” Tatum heard Stu finish. She walked up to the curtain and parted it. She chuckled at the sight of Stu bowing, in complete costume for Hannibal Lecter. She noticed Hallie join her and resisted the temptation of rolling her eyes.

“I just don’t get why she’d send you a candy cane but not  _ me _ . I mean, no offense, but she doesn’t even like you that much.”

Tatum frowned, trying to ignore her and focus on Himbry and whoever was about to perform instead.

“Maybe she feels weird I’m the only one who knows about her nose job… Shit, don’t tell her I told you that.”

Tatum looked from Hallie to the stage where Billy now stood. He began hitting a pan with a wooden spoon rhythmically while chanting, “I feel mis-er-a-ble! Mis-er-a-ble! Mis-er-a-ble! I feel mis-er-a-ble! Mis-er-a-ble! Mis-er-a-ble!”

The audience booed and Billy simply threw the pan at them aggressively before walking away.

“That was… something,” Himbry said, very obviously judging Billy for his choice of act.

Tatum fiddled with the curtain as she waited for her turn. She frowned as the guy from Mathletes — Randy — entered the stage with other three guys. “Yo, yo, yo! All you sucka movie buffs got nothin’ on me. From my hair to my goatee, you can’t touch Randy Meeks! It ain’t no trick, I  _ am _ this slick, all these ninth grade girls tryna suck my—  _ What _ ?! Chill, Arthur, I won’t go any farther. I’m a Mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I’m like S-S-Saw Three, cut off your arm, ya can’t see! Y’know what they say, the meek will inherit the earth, no way! Mic drop,  _ bitches _ !” He dropped the mic before picking it up again. “Happy holidays everybody!” Tatum cackled at his performance, stopping once she felt someone yank at her arm and bring her to behind the curtain, on stage.

“It’s just me, silly,” Sidney said. Tatum relaxed immediately. They got in their positions before Sidney turning to Hallie. “Switch with Tatum.”

“What? But I’m always on your left.”

“That’s when there were three of us. Switch.”

“But the whole dance will be backwards, Sid. I’m always on your left.”

“And now you’re getting on my last nerve, Hallie.  _ Switch _ .”

Hallie gave Tatum a dirty look before doing as Sidney told.

“Welcome to the stage Santa’s Helpers doing Jingle Bell Rock,” Himbry said.

The curtain went up and Hallie walked up to the boom box to hit play. She rushed to her place and then they began their (cheesy) dance routine. As they did a turn Tatum managed to kick the boom box off stage, hitting Mickey in the face. “Shit.” She looked panicked at Sidney and Hallie, the last one much more pissed off than the first. Casey didn’t seem to care. Then, she looked over to Billy and Stu, who were too busy laughing to notice her, and finally to the audience. Now,  _ those _ were pissed, Mickey specially. She wet her lips and walked back up to her spot. “What a bright time, it’s the right time,” she started singing a capella, resuming her dance.

Sidney joined her in both the singing and dancing. “To rock the night away…”

The audience began clapping to the melody and singing along. “Jingle bell time is a swell time…”

Ms Weathers moved to piano, playing along, and the girls all resumed their dance.

“To go riding in a one-horse sleigh. Giddyap jingle-horse pick up your feet. Jingle around the clock. Mix and mingle with a jingling beat. That’s the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell rock!” Tatum looked impressed at Hallie, who was riffing the last word.

The audience cheered and Tatum, out of breath, smiled as she and the girls posed.

Her smile was gone once she saw Sidney and Derek kiss. “That was great!,” he complimented.

“It was  _ so _ fetch,” Hallie said, grinning.

Sidney rolled her eyes. “Stop trying to make fetch happen, Hallie. It’s  _ not  _ going to happen.”

 

“Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try to not get crushed under his giant feet?,” Hallie read from her assignment, anger clear in her voice and face. “Huh?! What’s so great about Caesar, anyway? Brutus is just a cute as name as Caesar, okay? Brutus is just as  _ smart _ as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the  _ boss _ of everyone? Because that’s  _ not _ what Rome is about! We just should totally stab Caesar!”

Hallie McDaniel had cracked.

She wiped her eyes carefully. “This isn’t leaving this stall.”

Tatum nodded. It felt weird, skipping class to hear Hallie go off about Sidney inside a stall in the girls bathroom.

“Sidney is dealing with some serious internalized lesbophobia,” she said. “So, she dumped Derek to date me, you know. But now, guess what! They’re back! She doesn’t even  _ like _ him. She’s just doing it to make you jealous. Or maybe so you want her more.” Hallie frowned. “Anyway, she broke up with me because she said she got confused and wasn’t actually gay. What’s totally ridiculous because c’mon, you know Sid. But look, I know you’re into her and she’s into you too. And I think she’s just mad at me because I remind her of when we used to date. And, actually, I think she’s dating Derek to ignore the huge crush she has on you. I mean, I’m not jealous or anything, though. You do you.”

“What about you and Mickey?”

Hallie laughed. “You kiddin’? Mickey’s disgusting.”

“True. Wait, so you and Sid are lesbians?”

“Yeah.”

Tatum smiled stupidly. “You think she likes me?”

Hallie rolled her eyes before nodding. She wet her lips and bit at it. “She used to cheat on Derek with me. Started doing it again and actually said your name once.”

Tatum turned red and giggled. “Yeah?”

“ _ Yeah _ . I'm not that into her anymore, thought. Got my eye on Casey,” she confided.

Tatum smiled. “You should go for it.”

“You, too.”

 

Telling Derek about his girlfriend was harder than Tatum thought. She tried after class, after school, whenever the two were left alone. To talk about anything other than Sidney or Derek was as hard. She could practically hear people getting bored of her.

“I have this theory,” she told Billy, walking up to the counter, “that Derek would look like a British man if you chopped all his hair off.”

Billy nodded, writing something down. “You've told me that one before.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Well,” he said, handing her a piece of paper, “the play I'm in is gonna start next Friday. Why don't you take a break from your double life and come see it? I'll pay you your ticket,” he offered. “I need someone there to support me other than Stu. Gives me the illusion I'm cared for,” he laughed.

“Shut up, I care, Billy. ...What 'bout your dad?”

She saw him freeze for a second. “He's not into theatre.”

“Oh, okay. What's the play about?”

Billy lit up. “It's Dracula. I'm playing Jonathan.”

“Nice!”

“Yeah.” He scrunched his nose. “What's that smell?”

“Oh, Sid gave me some perfume from her mom.”

“No wonder you smell like a baby slut,” he said, picking up an air freshener and spraying it.


	7. Don't Tell Me To Shut Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their plan is finally in motion after the mess that was Hallie's confession: Derek had split up with Sidney and this was Tatum's chance to break the Plastics from the inside. Although maybe she isn't as much of a "double agent" as she likes to believe. Maybe Tatum Riley is indeed Plastic.

Meanwhile, Tatum ended up tutoring Derek in calculus — his grades had gone downhill, Tatum thought it was stress because the ‘big soccer game’ was approaching.

“How much did you get?”

“Zero.”

Tatum rolled her eyes. “Are you even trying, Feldman?”

“Yeah!,” he said, slightly upset. “And it's Derek.”

“I don't care.”

“Look, you're Sidney's best friend, I want to, at least, be in good terms.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah. So, let's try and be friends.”

She pondered for a bit before sighing. “I'm sorry, Derek. I just can't lie to you anymore,” she said, trying her best to sound upset.

“What?”

“Sid is cheating on you. I am so sorry.”

“What?!” He stormed off and Tatum grinned. Tatum 1, Derek 0.

She got a call from Sidney later.

« _Tate, can you please come over?_ »

“Yeah, sure. Is everything okay, Sid?”

She heard her sob. « _Fucking Derek broke up with me!_ »

“What!?”

« _God, I hate him! ...Can you please come over?_ ,» she repeated.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

Tatum was slightly surprised when Casey and Hollie were already there, comforting Sidney. “I brought chocolates,” she said, waving the box and putting it on Sidney's lap.

“You're such a good friend,” Sidney said, smiling. She broke into tears after.

“Did he even say why?”

“Somebody told him I was cheating on him.”

“Jesus, who?,” Tatum asked.

“I don't know, he didn't say.”

“Sounds like bullshit,” Hallie commented.

“I know, I mean… He was the one who kissed _me_ at the Halloween party!”

“Maybe you just need to move on.”

Casey gasped. “Wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?”

“I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all carbs diet! God, Casey, you're so stupid,” Sidney said before getting up and walking away.

Tatum looked over at Casey, who didn't seem too affected by the insult. She sat down by her. “You're not stupid.”

“No, I am. I'm failing, like, everything.”

“Jesus. Well, you must be good at something.”

“...Blowjobs?”

“Casey.”

“Well, hum, my boobs can always tell when it's gonna rain. Okay, they know _when_ it's raining. Most of the time. It's like I have ESPN or something.”

Tatum acted impressed.

 

She was a bit shocked when Sidney didn't ask her on a date immediately, although her anxiety of rejection settled down once she remembered the internalized shit Sidney was going through. She vented all about it when Stu and Billy dropped by her house.

“Maybe we just gotta make her a ‘normal girl’. Take care of the skank clothes,” Billy suggested.

“Yo, Tatum, what are Kathleen bars?”

“Kälteen bars,” she corrected. “They're these weird nutrition bars from Sweden that help you gain weight. My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa.”

Tatum realized what she had said and the three of them exchanged looks.

 

Tatum handed Sidney one of her Kälteen bars. “I think you'll love them. They're super tasty and make you lose weight like that.”

“Gimme it,” Sidney replied, snatching it from Tatums hands. It hurt her to do it, but it was either that or Woodsboro High living forever with cliques. "This is all in Swedish or something,” Sidney commented after taking a bite and looking at the wrapper.

“Yeah, it's got some weird ingredient that's not legal in the U.S. yet,” she lied.

“Hm.”

“Yeah, it just burns carbs. It burns up all your carbs.”

Sidney smiled sweetly at her and Tatum smiled back, that sinking feeling in her chest worsening.

The next week, the nominees from Spring Fling Queen were announced. Tatum fidgeted in her seat. Stu had taken care of making sure Hallie would be nominated. There really wasn't any good reason behind that besides to spite Sidney.

“And the Spring Fling Queen nominees are: Sidney Prescott,” Joel Jones, head of Student Activities Committee, announced before pausing. Billy rolled his eyes as clap erupted across the classroom. “Hallie McDaniel,” he said, sounding impressed. “Bi- you sure this isn't a typo or anythin’? Okay. Hum, Billy Loomis, with a ‘y’.”

“Fuck's sake, Stu,” he grumbled, hitting him on the arm.

Stu and Tatum laughed. “I couldn't help myself!”

“And, finally, Tatum Riley,” he finished.

“Did you put me in there?,” Tatum asked Stu.

“Wasn't me, baby.”

Tatum frowned before smiling. “Does that mean I'm really nominated?”

Billy snorted. “Yeah. ...God, look at her, Stu.”

“All _gushing_.”

“Shut up, guys.”

“Wanna come over tomorrow?,” Stu asked, once the bell rang.

“Can't,” she groaned. “Sidney's having me and the girls go shopping with her.”

“You and the girls?,” Billy asked with a snort.

“Shut up,” she said, and almost shuddered at how much she sounded like Sidney. Was she actually becoming Plastic?


	8. Major Plastic Sabotage (alt. You Can't Sit With Us!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's not Plastic, she's not Plastic, she is not Plastic. Or at least it's what Tatum tells herself as she hangs out with the Plastics and as she begins to replace Sidney as the Queen Bee. She is not Plastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief mention of weight in the beginning

Sidney huffed as Casey tried to zip up her dress. It barely fit her. Barely. “What size is this?”

“Hum, five,” Hallie replied, looking at the tag.

“ _What_? Tate, are you sure these bars work?”

Tatum bit the inside of her lip. “Yeah, this is just all your water weight. They turns your carbs into water and then, boom, you lose ten pounds.”

Sidney looked into the mirror and sighed. Tatum felt terrible. She felt even worse when Ms. Weathers handed her her test, a big, red C on top. “Tell your mom to sign that so she knows you’re failing.”

Tatum scoffed. “What?” Fucking Plastics.

“I know it seems like cliques and, and clothes and makeup are the most important thing in life right now, but you shouldn’t have to dumb yourself to fit in.”

How did _she_ know?

“I know, how do _I_ know? I’m divorced, “ she started. “I’m broke from getting divorced and I’m pretty sure none of my students actually like me.” Tatum frowned as she folded the corner of her test sheet. “And you know why? Because I’m a pusher, Tatum. I push people. I pushed my ex-husband into law school. I pushed myself into working three jobs. And now I’m pushing you because I know you’re smarter than this.”

Tatum nodded. “Okay. Yeah, thank you, Ms. Weathers. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for extra credit.”

“I will,” she said, giving her a small smile.

Tatum held all her rage in until she was at Sidney’s.

“Someone’s angry,” she had said when she saw Tatum practically grinding her teeth as she got inside her car.

“I just hate her,” she groaned, once she was finally in Sidney’s room with the others.

“Who? Ms. Weathers?,” Casey asked.

“ _Yeah_ ! I mean, she’s totally failing me on purpose because I didn’t join the fucking Matheletes. She was so weird,” Tatum vented, sitting down on Sidney’s bed. “She was all, like, ‘I’m a pusher, Tatum. I’m a _pusher_ ’.”

Sidney snickered. “What does that even mean, oh my God.”

“I don’t know!”

“Like a drug pusher?,” Hallie suggested.

Tatum shrugged exaggeratedly. “Probably! I mean, she said she works three jobs. She probably sells drugs to the Burn-Outs.”

Hallie nodded and put it on her lap. The Burn Book. “Let it all out, Tatum.” She handed her a sharpie. “Put it in the book.”

Tatum hesitated only a second before opening the pink covered book and taking off the sharpie’s lid.

Tatum wasn’t a bitch, she was only _acting_ like a bitch. At least that’s what she told herself.

“Hey,” Billy called as she put lipstick in class, looking at her pocket mirror. “Tate, I called you last night. Why didn’t you call me back?”

“Ugh. Got busy, sorry.”

“Oh, okay. Hum, do you need a ride for my play Saturday? Stu can drive you.”

“No. I gotta go to Madison with my mom and Dewey. I’m so sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Billy said, upset.

“Wanna watch a movie t’night? I got this movie called Wild Things—”

“Can’t, sorry. I’m doing major Plastic sabotage tonight,” she said, smiling.

Billy frowned. “What? We didn’t plan anythin’ for tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, I planned this one on my own.” She got up and blew them a kiss. “Love ya, bye.”

“Bye.”

 

Tatum dialed Hallie’s number quickly. “Hi, Hallie.”

« _Hey, Tatum. What’s up?_ »

She shrugged as if Hallie could see her. “Not much. You?”

« _I think Sid’s mad at me. Can you call her?_ »

“Yeah, sure,” she said. She switched lines and called Sidney. “Hi, Sid.”

« _Tatum, hey._ »

“Hi. Hum, Hallie thinks you’re mad at her,” she said, getting up and walking around her room.

« _What? No, I’m not mad at her. I’m_ worried _about her. Like, I think someone nominated her as a joke or something. And when nobody votes for her, she’ll end up calling ten suicide hotlines at once. And who’s gonna have to take care of her?_ Me _._ »

“What, so, you don’t think anyone’s gonna vote for her?”

« _Tate, she’s not popular. Sure, she’s one of us but she isn’t popular. Hell, that Stu kid is more popular than her. Besides, the Spring Fling queen is_ always _popular.»_ There was a pause and Tatum sat down on her bed again. « _And, like, it should have been Casey but people always forget her ‘cause she’s such a slut. Anyway, I’m going to bed. Love ya._ »

Tatum swooned a bit. “Well,” she said after Sidney hang up. “She’s not mad at you.” Hallie didn’t reply and Tatum frowned. “Hallie? You okay?”

« _Hello?_ » Was that Casey?

« _Look, if someone said something bad about, you’d like me to tell you, right?_ »

« _...No._ »

« _Okay, what if it was something_ really _bad? And that person was someone who you thought was your friend?_ »

« _What… Hold on, other line._ »

« _I am not taking this anymore_ ,» Hallie told Tatum.

“Good for you, Hal.”

« _It’s Sid_ ,» she heard Casey say. « _She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you ‘cause you’re driving her nuts._ »

« _Do_ not _hang out with her, Case._ »

« _Why?_ »

« _Oh, you don’t want me to tell you._ »

Casey sighed. « _You can tell me. Hold on… Oh, my God, she’s so annoying._ »

« _Who is?_ »

« _...Who’s this?_ »

« _Hallie._ »

«Right. _Hold on._ »

Tatum frowned. What the fuck was going on with Casey and Sidney?

« _Okay, what is it?_ »

« _Sidney thinks everyone hates you ‘cause you’re a slut._ »

“A li’l harsh, Hal.”

« _Oh,_ please _. She deserves to know the truth._ »

Tatum hung up, thinking of whatever was happening right now in Sidney and Casey’s call. Maybe Casey said she couldn’t go out, pretended to be sick and Sidney said something like “Boo, you whore”. The thought made her laugh.

Next day at lunch she felt some tension between the Plastics, herself included Not that she was Plastic.

“We have to talk, Sidney.”

“What?”

“You’re wearing a ponytail. You’ve already worn one on Tuesday.”

“So?”

“ _So_? It’s against the rules and you can’t sit with us.”

Sidney scoffed. “Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.”

Casey scoffed, offended. “They were real that day I wore a plaid skirt!”

“Because that plaid skirt was disgusting.”

“You can’t sit with us!;” Hallie shrieked.

Sidney smiled bitterly. “ _Fine_. You can walk home, bitches!”

Tatum bit her lip as she watched her walk way.

“So, Tate, what are we doing this weekend?,” Hallie asked her.

Oh, shit, was she the new Queen Bee? “I gotta go to Madison with my mom and my brother.”

“What?”

“Oh, we have tickets for this thing.”

“What?”

“What?”

She was _definitely_ the new Queen Bee. “I could try and get out of it.”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, yeah.”


	9. Cold, Shiny, Hard Plastic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She cannot for the life of her, be Plastic. No matter what anyone says. No matter what Billy Loomis, former Plastic, says. Fuck him. All she did was throw a party and try to kiss a girl. Of course that girl was ex-Queen Bee, Sidney Prescott, but that doesn't make her Plastic. None of what she did makes her that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the word pansy is used a bit bc how could i let go that iconic ass line

“I can’t go,” she said when her mom brought the concert up at dinner.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I promised my friend Billy I’d go to his play. It means a lot to him!”

“We’ve had these tickets for months, Tate,” Dewey said.

“Exactly! You love Brazilian jazz.”

“But he’s my friend and I made a promise. I gotta be there.”

“Dewey!”

He shrugged. “I think Tatum’s old enough to spend a night on her own.”

“Thank you, Dewey!”

Her mom sighed and Tatum rolled her eyes. Her mom was just trying to make her stay a naive baby forever, she thought.

Tatum called Sidney later that night. “Hi, Sid? I’m sorry ‘bout lunch.”

« _Ugh, it’s whatever. I wasn’t even in the clique for them._ »

“Oh. Well, hum, I’m having a small get together tomorrow night if you wanna come…?”

« _...Will Derek be there?_ »

“What? No, I’m not stupid, Sid.”

« _Okay, yeah, I’ll go. I’m still bitter towards Hallie and Casey, though; don’t expect me to be nice to them._ »

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

« _Okay, see you, Tate. Love ya._ »

“Love ya, too.” She clutched her phone in her hands, grinning, before making a three-way call with Hallie and Casey. “I invited Sid over to our party. It’s so we can work this out, you know? It’s important we make up.”

« _Explain_ ,» Casey asked.

“We’re at the top, Case. If our clique falls? They all do,” Tatum explain, using Billy’s words as her own.

«Oh _._ »

« _That makes sense. I’m not talking to her, though._ »

“Yeah, that’s cool. She said she was still bitter about lunch so don’t worry.”

«Good _._ »

Tatum almost snorted at Hallie’s tone. “You two should show up at, like, six pm.”

« _Will do._ »

« _Okay, nice._ »

Tatum barely slept that night, If things went well, the next night would be hers and Sidney’s first kiss, and she absolutely could _not_ wait.

Hallie and Casey pulled over just as her mom and Dewey drove off. Perfect timing.

“Hi!”

“Hey, come on in.”

The three of them went up to Tatum’s room to help her get ready. Hallie went through her clothes as Casey helped her with her makeup and hair. Casey was a airhead, that’s for sure, but she was very, very good and talented at that.

“Tatum,” Hallie called. She turned to face her. “Which one?,” she asked, holding up two dresses. A soft blue one with fancy patterns, and a blood red one without straps and a pretty revealing cleavage. “I think the second one would get your point across...”

Tatum nodded frantically. “Yeah, definitely.”

Casey turned Tatum’s head to apply lip liner. “You look pretty.”

Tatum grinned. “Thank you.” She turned to Hallie, who was putting the blue dress away. “I have snacks and drinks for, like, eight people, that’ll do, right?”

“Yeah,” Hallie said nodding.

“Yeah, yeah,” Casey echoed.

It did not do. Because she had invited Sidney, the word about her small get-together had spread and there were now, at least, 14 strangers in her house. Out of 17 people.

“Randy?” Tatum was almost shocked at finding Mathlete Randy Meeks at her party. (14 out of 18 people - she kinda knew Randy.)

“Hi, Homeschool,” he greeted.

“ _What_ are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be, like… I don’t know, studying math or something? Writing some ‘sick rhymes’?” She air quoted the last two words.

“I don’t work on the weekends. Nice party, by the way.”

“Thanks…?” She scoffed and walked away, turning to the kitchen to take a jello shot. Was Sidney blowing her off? Tatum shook her head and walked up to her bedroom, finding a couple making out on her bed. “Get out.” The couple exchanged embarrassed looks and walked out. Tatum sat down and sighed.

“Tate?”

“In here.”

She lit up once Sidney opened the door. “Hi, Tate. Y’know, it’s a pretty big party for a ‘small get together’.”

“Yeah, got out of control,” she said, breathing out a laugh

Sidney smiled at her and sat down. It was now. She had to get it _now_ . Kairos, just like her philosophy teacher had told her. She felt the butterflies in her stomach as she leant forward. Wait, not butterflies. _Vomit_.

“Fuck,” she murmured before throwing up on her bedroom’s carpet.

“Ew, _gross_!,” was all she heard from Sidney.

Tatu ran downstairs after cleaning herself up. “Sid, wait! Wait!,” she called, running after Sidney. “Wait, Sidney! ...Okay. Call me.” She froze as she saw a familiar black car pulling over. “Oh, no. I’m sorry.”

Billy sat up on the car’s sunroof, furious. He seemed to have a black eye, and Tatum felt immediately guilty. “You shitty, little liar.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I can explain.”

“Explain _what_?” Billy smiled bitterly. “How you forgot to invite us to your party?”

“I, I couldn’t invite you, I had to pretend to be Plastic!”

Billy laughed. “Oh, you’re not pretending anymore, buddy! You’re Plastic! You’re cold, shiny, hard _Plastic_.”

“Billy, I cannot stop this car,” Stu said, driving as slowly as possible. “I got curfew.”

“Did you have an _awesome_ time?,” Billy asked, obviously fighting the urge to shout. “Did you drink _awesome shooters_ ? And, and listen to _awesome music_ , and then just sit around and soak up each other’s _awesomeness_?”

“Curfew, Billy!”

Tatum took it personally. “You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth grade revenge, or whatever!”

“God! You see, at least Sidney and I _know_ we're mean! You try and act all innocent, like,” he began doing a bad impression of Tatum, “‘oh, I used to live in Africa with all the little birdies and the little monkeys’.”

“Wha— It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something, you pansy ass momma's boy!”

Stu stopped the car violently.

“ _What_!?”

“Oh, no, she did _not_!”

“You, you fucking…! I'm not a fucking pansy! You see? This is the problem with you Plastics, you think everybody is in love with you, when actually _everybody hates you_ ! Sidney, for, for example, she and Derek broke up and guess what?! She still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with them, Tatum?! I'll tell you why! Because you are a _mean girl_ , you're a _BITCH_!” Billy bent and picked something before throwing it at Tatum. “You can have this, I got it signed,” he said before getting down.

Stu drove off and yelled through the window, “And I want my pink shirt back! _I want my pink shirt back_!”


	10. The Burn Book by Anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Burn Book was out and there were only three girls who weren't in it: Casey, Hallie and Tatum. So of course all the negative attention is going to go to them, regardless of them actually writing it or not. (They totally did.) And of course people are going to assume Tatum pushed Sidney in front of that bus. (She totally did not.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pansy is yet again used as well as the f slur

Tatum drummed her fingers against her folder as she tried to not fall asleep in Health class.

“At your age, you’re gonna have a lot of urges,” coach Gold said. “You’re gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. _However_ , you will get chlamydia. And die.”

Tatum scoffed. She doubted coach Gold was actually trained to be an Health class teacher.

The door opened, interrupting the ignorant teacher, and everyone glanced at it. “Tatum Riley?,” the janitor, Fred, called. She raised her hand, frowning. “They wanna see ya in Himbry’s office.”

Tatum blinked and glanced at Billy on instinct, getting only a cold stare back. Tatum got up and walked with Fred to the principal’s office.

“In here, Ms. Riley,” he said, just as Sidney walked out. Tatum would have cried if it wasn’t for the fact she was wearing mascara — and that everyone else in the room would have judged her, too.

“What’s going on? Why did Sid—”

“Have a seat,” was all she got in reply. She did, sitting between Hallie and Casey. Mr. Himbry put up the Burn Book and Tatum’s breath was knocked out of her. “Have you seen this before?”

“No. I mean, yeah, I’ve seen it but it’s not mine.”

“You better get your story straight, ‘cause I am not messing around here.”

Tatum sat up. “Well, it’s not mine and it’s not theirs either.”

“It’s Sid’s,” Hallie said.

“Ms. McDaniel, why would Ms. Prescott call herself a ‘skank bitch’?,” he read.

Casey snickered.

“Ms. Becker, this is _no_ time for laughter.”

“Sorry,” she said, visibly smiling.

“We are gonna get to the bottom of all this,” he said, putting the book down and placing his hand on top.

Hallie fidgeted. “Well, Mr. Himbry, maybe we’re not in there because everybody likes us. And I don’t know about them, but I don’t wanna be punished for being well liked.” Tatum rolled her eyes. “And I don’t think my father, the inventor of _Toaster Strudel_ , would like to hear about this.”

Himbry sighed. “Anything else any of you wanna say?”

Hallie shook her head. “Can’t talk without a lawyer or parent present.”

“Anything else? Ms. Becker?”

Casey squinted. “Maybe whoever wrote it didn’t think anyone else would see it…?”

“I hope nobody else _does_ see it! This is very—” He was interrupted by the door flinging open with a bang.

“I tried to stop them!,” Ms. Weathers excused herself from behind Billy and Stu.

Billy looked furious, just like he did the night of the party, and Stu looked like he was about to break someone’s nose. Tatum swallowed as Billy held up a crumbled piece of paper. “‘ _Fag_ ’!?”

“That wasn’t—”

Stu interrupted her with a revolted “‘Too gay to function’?!”

Billy’s anger faded a bit. “I mean…”

“Billy!”

“She’s not wrong!” He turned to Tatum. “But it’s only okay when _I_ say it, so fuck you!”

Stu turned nearly red and scoffed. Someone pushed him, Billy and Ms. Weathers. “Arthur, they’ve gone wild! Come quick! The girls have gone wild!”

Himbry got up and pushed them aside to check on the situation. Shouts and bangs could be heard and all Tatum could think was ‘I did _that_?’.

“Tatum, what the fuck?,” Billy said, turning to her. “Did you write that?” He handed her the sheet of paper, shaking.

There it was. Right above his photo — some old thing of Billy and Stu in the backstage before a school play — with a beautifully drawn arrow pointing at him: “FAG”. In big, round letters that seemed to scream at her. She looked over at Stu’s description: “too gay to function” in her own handwriting. “I had—”

“Had to pretend to be Plastic?,” Billy said, throwing her excuse from the night of the party back at her. He snatched the paper form Tatum’s hands. “You’re no different than them,” he growled. “You’re no different than Sidney, and I’m sure she told you about what she did.”

“Billy—”

“Where _is_ that li’l bitch, anyway?,” Stu asked, looking over at the other Plastics.

“I saw her walk out when I got here,” Tatum said.

Billy ignored her and grabbed Stu’s arm, walking out. Tatum, Casey and Hallie followed suit. Her breath was knocked out of her when she saw it. The full on jungle madness. The girls, every single one, were going at each other, yelling nonsensical shit that just wouldn’t go away. Tears prickled Tatum’s eyes. This was _her_ fault. She had caused this.

Her self-blaming thoughts were interrupted by the fire alarm and the cold water from the sprinklers. “What the fuck?!”

“Oh, shit! My hair!,” she said a girl screech.

“All junior girls report to the gym immediately! _Immediately_!,” she heard Mr. Himbry shout. Tatum was frozen in place and it took Hallie taping her arm for her to break out of transe.

 

The gym was packed and Tatum felt all eyes on her. Every whisper was about her, too. She sat down by Sidney’s cousin, Jill, who looked like some desperate wannabe of Sidney. It was pathetic, but mostly just sad. She looked over to find Billy and Stu sitting by each other. She waved and smiled over at them, although Stu just flipped her off and Billy rolled his eyes and ignored her.

“Never in my _fourteen_ years as an educator,” Mr. Himbry started, “have I seen such behavior. And from young ladies.” Someone cleared their throat but Himbry promptly ignored them. “I got parents calling me on the phone asking, ‘Did someone get shot?’ I oughta cancel your Spring Fling!”

Various cries of “No!”s and “Who cares!”s could be heard. Tatum simply stayed silent, looking down at her hands.

“‘Course I won’t do that ‘cause we’ve already paid the DJ,” he said, quickly. “However, don’t think I’m not taking this book seriously! There was a _gun_ found in Steven Orth’s locker… Ms. Weathers has been accused of selling drugs. Now, what all of you ladies need is an attitude makeover. And you’re all gonna get it, _right now_. I don’t care how long this takes, I will keep you here all night.” Mrs. Tate leaned in and whispered something. Mr. Himbry wet his lips, embarrassed. “I will keep you here until four… Now, what we’re gonna do is try and fix these problems, alright? Fix the way you ladies relate to each other. Okay, so who has a lady problem they wanna talk about?”

Tatum saw Casey raise her hand and Hallie bringing it back down quickly but softly. She then saw Jennifer Jolie raise hers.

“Yes?”

“Someone wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin,” she said. “Just because I use super-jambo tampons. But it’s not my fault I’ve got such a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!”

Himbry looked at the floor, inhaled sharply and turned around. “Yeah, no, I can’t do this. Ms. Weathers, would you mind?”

She shook her head and stepped forward as Himbry sat down. “Okay, guys. I want all of you to close your eyes.” Everyone did as told, even Tatum, although she did so a bit reluctantly. “Alright, raise your hand if you’ve ever had a girl say something bad about you behind your back.” Tatum raised her hand slowly, hesitant. “Open your eyes, now.” She did as smiled a bit about how many arms were raised. “Okay, now close your eyes again and raise your hand if _you_ ’ve ever said something bad about a friend behind _her_ back.” Tatum raised her hand, her heart sinking. “Okay, now, open your eyes again.” She did and let out a relieved laugh, as did all the others, surprised as to how many people had their hands raised. Sidney included. “That's not good, that's not good at all. There's been some serious girl-on-girl crime here. Okay,” she said, taking in a breath, “what we're gonna do today is some exercises that might help you express your… anger in a healthy way.”

Turned out every clique had its problems, as Tatum, and everyone else, found out through Ms. Weathers making them talk to each other. She heard someone get up and looked over.

“Can I just say that this school doesn't have a clique problem? And that some of us shouldn't be taking this workshop 'cause some of us are really just _victims_ in this situation?”

“Hm, really? Okay, how many of you have felt personally victimized by Sidney Prescott?” Tatum chuckled to herself to see everyone, including the teachers, raise their hand. “I see. Sit down.” Sidney did so, reluctantly. “Okay, who's next? Tatum. Got anything you wanna own up to?”

 _Yes_. “No.”

“No? Never, never made up a rumor about someone?”

 _Yes_. “No.”

“Nothing you wanna apologize for?”

“No,” she said, this time more firmly.

Ms. Weathers nodded. “I'm disappointed in you, Tatum… Okay, we're all here because of this book, right? Well, I dunno who wrote it but you have to stop calling each other sluts and whores. That only makes it okay for _boys_ to call you sluts and whores.”

“Unless you're Sidney’s mom!,” someone yelled. Tatum glanced at Billy, who looked at her back with a smug smirk.

“Loomis, could you not?,” Ms. Weathers sighed. “ _Anyway_ , all of you stand up, c'mon.”

Tatum walked up to the back of the line, as everyone wrote down apologies. Maureen Evans was first. “Jennifer, I'm sorry I called you a buck toothed bitch, it's not your fault you're so buck toothed.” She turned around and fell gracefully on the crowd who put her down after.

Casey was next. “Hallie, I'm sorry I laughed at you when you got diarrhea at Barnes and Noble. And I'm sorry I told everyone about it.” Casey glanced at Hallie and shrugged. “And I'm sorry for repeating it now.”

Hallie rolled her eyes.

“Olivia,” Kirby Reed started, “I don't hate you 'cause you're fat. You're fat 'cause I hate you.” She did the same as Casey and Maureen.

A short, shy girl cleared her throat and read her apology through tears, “I just wish we could all get along like we did in middle school. And I wish I could bake a cake out of rainbows and smiles, and we could all eat it and be happy.”

“She doesn't even go here!,” Stu called out.

Ms. Weathers frowned and looked over at the girl. “Do you go to this school?”

“No, I just have a lot of feelings.”

She sighed. “Go home.”

Hallie cleared her throat after the girl walked away. “ _I'm_ sorry people are so jealous of me. It's not my fault I'm so popular,” she said with a shrug. She turned around and let herself fall, nobody catching her but Casey. “Shit!”

“Get up,” Ms. Weathers said, trying to help them up. “Walk it off. Walk it off. Keep it going, people.”

Billy stepped forward. “I just wanna say, I have no _fucking_ idea why I'm here—”

“Because of that exact behavior,” Himbry said.

Billy scoffed.

“Hey, how'd you get that black eye, did the dick you were sucking miss your mouth?,” Sidney asked, smirking.

The girls snickered and Stu hit one of them upside the head.

“Yeah, no, I got an apology.” He cleared his throat and roll up the sleeves of his shirt. “So, I have a friend who's new here and I kinda convinced her it'd be fun to mess up Sidney Prescott’s life. So, I had her pretend to be friends with Sidney and then she'd come over and we'd laugh about all the dumb shit she said. We turned her best friends against her and made her break up with her boyfriend. And then, Tatum, you know my friend Tatum, she gave Sidney foot wash instead of face cream and, and she tried to make out with Sidney at her party which she didn't even invite me and Stu to! Even though we were fucking friends! How funny _is_ that? Anyway, I am so sorry, Sidney. I have _no idea_ why I did that. I guess it's probably 'cause I'm such a big fucking pansy ass! Suck on that!,” he yelled, flipping her off, before turning around and throwing himself to the crowd.

Sidney stormed off and Tatum followed, running after her. “Sid, wait!”

“Oh, fuck off!,” she said, stopping in the middle of the road.

“I didn't mean for that to happen!”

“What? To find out everyone hates me? I don't care! You know what they say about you, Tatum? They say you're a home-schooled jungle _freak_ , who's a less hot version of me! Yeah! So, you can take your fake apology and shove it up your hairy little c—”

Tatum screamed when a yellow school bus hit her. “Shit!”

It was in that moment that Tatum made a vow to be a better person.


	11. I'm Sorry, World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tatum and Sidney realize being bitches won't make them any happier and decide to try a different approach to the world: being nice and forgiving. Billy does, too. Maybe holding grudges isn't as fun as it sounds. And neither is losing the Mathletes State Championship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres some v softly implied transphobia + homophobia + slut shaming and implied child abuse again  
> probably the darkest part? its super soft tho  
> feat cotton weary as a teacher and fucking veronica sawyer from heathers

Tatum held the bouquet of violets close to her chest as she waited for her turn to greet Sidney. There were around 20 people in front of her, which only proved that the more people are scared of you, the more flowers you get.

“Tatum,” she greeted through gritted teeth, once it was her turn.

“I'm here to apologize,” she said, placing the bouquet on Sidney's lap. “About everything.”

Sidney looked at her and wet her lips. “Why should I forgive you?”

“I… I don't know. I don't know, Sid. You don't even have to.”

“...You really embarrassed me with all that shit.”

“I know,” she murmured.

“You're lucky, though, Tate. That near-death experience really hit me. As did the bus.” Tatum smiled. “I'm on my way to become a better person,” she told her.

“That's really good.”

Sidney put her hand to Tatum’s arm. “You'll have the honor to be the first person I'm nice to.”

“Thank you.”

Sidney smiled at her. “You going to the Spring Fling?”

“Maybe. I might have to go to the Mathletes State Championship.”

“Ugh, forgot you were such a nerd.” She rolled her eyes.”Well, if you decide to show up… I'll be waiting for you.”

Tatum grinned and nodded. Being a good person was already starting to pay off.

 

She handed her quick and Ms. Weathers looked up. “You want some drugs with that?”

Tatum shook her head. “I want to apologize. I'm sorry about that rumor and I'm sorry you almost lost your job. I wanna propose to go to the Championship.”

She nodded, grading Tatum’s quiz quickly. “94. Welcome back.”

She smiled.

 

Her hands were shaking when she arrived to the room the State Championship would take place.

“You nervous?,” Ms. Weathers asked

“Yeah.”

“Don't be. You're good at this.”

“Alright, Homeschool, c'mon,” Randy called her to join them. She did so, feeling on the verge of passing out. “Westerburg, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches,” he murmured.

“Good evening, everybody,” the teacher welcomed them. “I'm Mr. Weary and welcome to the California High School Mathletes State Championship.”

After various questions and Tatum realizing she was rustier than she thought, they ended in a tie.

“On the event of a tie,” Mr. Weary explained, “we move into a sudden death round.” Tatum swallowed; that did not sound good at all. “Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. Woodsboro, who do you select?”

“The girl, dude.”

Randy leant into the mic. “Contestant Sawyer.”

“From Westerburg, Ms. Veronica Sawyer.”

“We pick the girl too.”

“And from Woodsboro, Ms. Tatum Riley.”

Tatum wet her lips and stepped forward to the small podium. She drowned at her opponent, who seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows — _Focus, Tatum._

“Contestants, find the limit to this equation.”

She glanced at the board and froze. She couldn't remember anything about limits — Sidney had noted her to her Halloween party that day. She jumped at the sound of the buzzer. _Shit_.

“The limit is negative one.”

 _Shit!_ “That answer is incorrect.” Tatum sighed. “Now, we are in a sudden death, if Ms. Riley can solve this problem correctly, we have a winner.”

She nodded and closed her eyes, trying to focus. She cleared her brain fog and opened her eyes suddenly in realization. “If the limit doesn't approach anything, the limit does not exist,” she whispered. “The limit does not exist!”

“Our new state champions are the Woodsboro Mathletes!”

“Hell yeah!” Randy rushed to the front and snatched the trophy from the teacher's hands. “How you like me now?!”

Tatum attempted to beatbox as the other Mathletes rapped. “Go shorty, it's your birthday! We gon’ party like it's yo’ birthday! We gon’ sip Bacardi like it's yo’ birthday! And you know we don't give a fuck it's not yo’ birthday!”

“Kids!”

“C'mon, Ms. Weathers, have some _fun_ ,” Randy said, opening the car's trunk to put down the trophy and take out some jackets.”Here you go.”

“Nice!” Tatum put hers on, an almost perfect fit if it wasn't for the long sleeves. “Love it.”

“Alright, let's all had to Spring Fling like the _champions_ we are!,” Ms. Weathers said, grinning.

“Oh, no, I'm not going,” Tatum said with a laugh.

“What're you talking about, Homeschool?,” Randy asked, frowning.

“I'm not dressed right.”

“Who cares? Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thang.”

Tatum frowned before snickering. “Did you just say thang?”

 

The gym looked _amazing_ and Tatum’s jaw dropped as soon as she arrived. “Holy shit,” Ms. Weathers breathed.

“Kids,” Randy joked.

“I gotta go,” Tatum said after seeing Sidney on stage.

“G’luck.”

Tatum grinned and rushed up stage.

“Tate! You made it!”

“Tatum?,” Billy said, frowning.

“Hi, hey.”

“They're gonna announce the King and Queen, you're just in time,” Sidney told her, moving her hand to hold Tatum’s.

Billy scoffed.

“You look really pretty,” Tatum told her. She looked over at Billy. “You too, Billy. Love the eyeliner.”

Billy smirked. “Thanks.” Billy still looked like himself. The all black outfit was still there, the only change being a tie.

“Where's Stu?”

Billy pointed at the tallest person by the punch. Stu noticed and waved, grinning. Billy returned the wave with a smaller one.

“You two dating yet?,” Sidney asked, smirking.

“Shut up, Sid,” he replied, slightly red.

Himbry tapped the mic lightly. “Okay, do we have all of our nominees for King and Queen on the stage?”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Billy replied.

“Okay, good. Before I announce anything, I just wanna say all of you are winners and I am, so happy this school year is ending. Alright, to our winners,” Himbry said as he opened the envelope. “And our Spring Fling King is… Steven Orth.”

Steve dropped down as everyone applauded and did the “worm”. Tatum felt like she had seen something she shouldn't have.

“Congratulations, Steve,” Himbry said, handing him the crown once he was up. “And your Spring Fling Queen, future co-chair of the Student Activities Committee and winner of _two_ gift certificates of the Walker Brothers Pancake House… Tatum Riley.”

Tatum let out a surprised sound and walked up to the mic, astonished. Himbry handed her the tiara and she played with it a bit. “Well, thanks, Christ.” She laughed nervously. “I've never been to one of these and to think I'm a Spring Fling Queen… _Wow_ . Half of the people here are mad at me and the other half only don't hate me 'cause they think I pushed Sid in front of that bus. I _didn't_.”

“You don't really have to make a speech.”

“Let the girl have her moment!,” Stu defended from the crowd.

“I'm sorry if you got hurt because of the Burn Book. And y'know, this tiara means nothing. All of you look amazing. Maureen, that dress is awesome. And Jennifer, that hairdo must have taken, like, hours! And you look really good. Everyone does. So…” She looked down at the tiara. “Why is everybody stressing over this shit? God, sorry.” The crowd laughed at her slip up. “Anyway, this is just plastic. You can really just…” She tore the tiara in half, making everyone gasp at least a little. “Break it. And share it.” She threw a part over to Hallie. “A piece for Hallie McDaniel, love your hair.” Another for Billy. “And Billy Loomis. Congrats for being the first boy nominated for Spring Fling Queen. Also, I've never seen anyone rock black eyeliner like you do.”

Billy rushed to the mic and picked it up. “Yes, I wanna thank my mom, horror movie director and icon Wes Craven, the incredible cast of Carrie and, most important of all, — do not interrupt me, Himbry — my amazing boyfriend Stu Macher, he's right there, tall ass blond guy. Love you, dick.” He raised his piece of the tiara triumphantly and walked back to the back of the stage.

Stu let out a small shriek and yelled back, “Love you too!”

“So, I'm gonna take that as a ‘yes, we're totally dating, thanks, Sid’,” she said.

“Fuck off, Sidney,” Billy replied, looking her in the eye with a deadpan expression.

“And a piece for Sid Prescott,” she said, throwing it over to her. “She fractured her spine and still looks like a rockstar… And, finally, a piece for everyone else,” she finished, throwing the remaining pieces to the crowd.

“Alright, alright,” Himbry said, taking the mic away. “Have a great time, everybody.”

Sid walked up to Tatum and kissed her quick. Tatum hugged her and then walked downstairs with her, up to Stu and Billy.

“I'm a queen,” said Billy, showing him his tiara piece.

“As am I,” Stu replied with a grin, taking a smaller piece out of his pocket.

“Hey,” Tatum said.

“Hi.”

“Are we still in a fight?”

“Hm. Are you still an asshole?”

Tatum made a pondering face before looking back to him with a smile. “I don't think so.”

“Oh, well, then I guess we're alright.”

Tatum smiled. “Sid wants to apologize, too.”

Sidney sighed and stepped forward.

Billy wet his lips and crossed his arms. “What for, exactly?,” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Implying my dad beats me? Making fun of me for liking boys? Wait, wait, I got it: making fun of _Stu_ for being gay. _Or_ making fun of both of us ‘cause we’re not cis. Or is it because you called me a “pansy-ass” for “overreacting” to my mom abandoning me because _your_ whore mother and _my_ shitty ass father couldn’t keep it in their pants?”

“ _So_ , you do admit it’s kinda your dad’s fault.”

“That’s not the point, Sidney! The point is you apologizing for making me feel like shit and actually mean it! We were best friends, Sid! What happened to that? Please, even if it’s just for, for old time’s sake… Can you just apologize?”

Sidney swallowed. “Did I really fuck you up that badly?”

“You _abandoned_ me, Sid,” he said with tears in his eyes, his voice strained. “Right after my mom too. I… I wasn’t ready. You left me alone. I only had Stu. He was all I had left for _years_. My mom left me, my dad hated me — still does, actually — and my best friend…” Billy scoffed. “She changed and left me.”

“I mean, you called my mom a slut.”

Billy nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. And I just did it now, too. I apologize for that.”

“It’s okay. I apologize for fucking you up beyond belief. Didn’t think it’d hurt you so much. I’m sorry I said all that shit about you and Stu. And your dad too, obviously. And sorry about that dick joke at the workshop. Though you gotta admit, it was one of my best.”

Billy scoffed, smiling slightly. “Yeah, it was. I’m sorry about calling your mom a slut all the time.”

“Whatevs, it’s not like you’re wrong. So… Friends?”

“You _are_ wearing a fucking spinal halo, pretty sure that’s punishment enough. So, yeah. Friends.”

“By the way,” Stu said, “I don’t wanna interrupt this sweet li’l moment but two things. One, he’s my boyfriend and if you touch him, I’ll kill you. Two, he’s my best friend and if you hurt him and go all bitch on him, I’ll kill you. Either way, you’re dead.”

“Got it. No need to threaten me, Stuart.”

“Another one like that you’re dead too,” Stu said, putting his arm around Billy.

“Ya know, I have a feeling he tried to murder you in a past life,” Tatum joked before kissing Sidney on the cheek.

“Honestly.”

Stu gasped. “I love this song!”

Billy made a face and grumbled. “I _hate_ this song!”

Tatum gasped as well and grinned. “I _know_ this song!”

Sidney laughed and kissed her again. “May I ask for this dance?”

“Why, yes you may. See you later, guys,” she said, waving at Billy and Stu.


	12. Epilogue — Girl World Was At Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is forgiven, past drama is in the past, no grudges are held (except Billy's towards Sid's mom). All is well and the Girl World is finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all yalls (read: mine) ships becoming canon ur Welcome

The Plastics broke up. That had been the best news anyone at that school had ever gotten that year. Including Derek’s acceptance into Yale.

Sidney’s spine healed and her physical therapist had taught her to channel all her inner anger and bitterness into sports, once the jocks weren’t afraid of her. She and Tatum were dating and Woodsboro High’s power couple. Not even Steve Orth dared to shit talk them.

Hallie had found herself, meanwhile. She realized that her real passion (besides makeup and fashion, she still loved those) was psychology and began studying hard. She was _good_ . People would come to her about any kind of trouble. Hallie was really like an improved school counsellor. Even Billy trusted her with his troubles, and that’s saying something. She went on to date Cici Cooper, who had realized Mickey was an actual pile of human garbage. Okay, that wasn’t _why_ she dated Hallie — it was for her wits, jokes, beauty and positive attitude — but it had definitely helped.

Casey seemed to be the only one in the group who wasn’t dating, though she made it clear she was looking for someone every time she did the morning weather announcements, a spot she had got thanks to her special ability, her “Rain Boobs” as Billy liked to jokingly call them.

Billy used his status as ¼ Spring Fling Queen (“If you’re a boy, how are you queen?” “You can’t just ask people why they’re queen.”) to join the Student Activities Committee, bringing the school their very first horror inspired dance. It was based on Carrie because “it’s meta, Tate, how funny is it?!” and most people enjoyed it. They elected him head of the Dance Department, which wasn’t really a thing until he came along. Besides creating a whole new department, Billy and Stu had gone official and his dad had been arrested. Billy was now happily enjoying his life with Stu at his place. Don’t get it wrong, though. Both of them were still complete assholes, and Billy was still that emo boy Tatum had met on her first day.

Stu himself had made it all the way to Hollywood on American Idol Three before Simon told him he wasn’t “adequate”. He had punched him in the face and choked him, eventually getting those photos in Us Weekly. He hadn’t shut up about that since. _Or_ about how amazing, talented, pretty and amazing (yes, twice) Billy was. Not that he wasn’t like that before dating him.

Tatum herself had gone from “home-schooled jungle freak”, in Sidney’s own words, to “cold, shiny, hard Plastic” to most hated person in Woodsboro to actual human being with friends, a trophy for the Mathletes State Championship (just like Stu didn’t shut up about punching Simon Cowell in the face or dating Billy, she didn’t shut up about winning it) and, of course, the coolest girlfriend she could ask for. She could barely even believe she was _actually_ dating Sidney Prescott.

All the drama from the year before was left behind, although not really forgotten. It had taught them all a very valuable lesson, after all.

And so finally, Girl World was at peace, as well as the entire school. It used to be like some sort of shark tank but now? Now, everyone could just float instead of worrying about being eaten alive. And if any freshman tried to disturb said peace by bringing the Plastics back, Tatum knew just how to take care of it. And no, getting hit by a bus wasn’t one of the options.

**Author's Note:**

> the first chapter is like. super short but the others will be Way longer trust me


End file.
